with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
