he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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