i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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