Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
You brought string cheese to the strip club
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
