Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
