the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
There's even glitter on my cock...
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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