check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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