Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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