did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize