i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize
