she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
he fucked my hip out of place.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
