I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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