All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize