Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Randomize
