his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize