Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Randomize
