you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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