Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
