omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
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