Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
