When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
