I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
