yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
