if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
