Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
