I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
