This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Randomize
