Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Randomize
