Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I had to cum in my sink.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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