We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Send help, water and tortillas.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize