I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
