It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
