is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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