Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
