morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
