also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
