I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize