I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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