I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
