What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
She needs sedatives and a leash
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
