please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
