If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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