How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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