She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize