Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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