Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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