This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
