he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
third nipple confirmed
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
