Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
