Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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