Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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