The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
