You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Randomize
