We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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