My girlfriend figured out who you are.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
