I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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