Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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