Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
We need to get me chipped asap
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
