My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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