Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
