last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
