he wants to bone in the snuggie
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize