dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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