Dual....:-)
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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