The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
