I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
